“Mommy Time” vs “Me Time”
Job Title: Mommy
There is no other job, that is as wonderful and rewarding, yet difficult and draining, as being a Mommy!
We are the CEO of our home. We are doctors, maids, playmates, chefs, teachers, taxi drivers, and therapists. There have been days, especially when both of my kids were very young, I thought to myself, “Who are these kids? And why do they keep calling me Mommy?”. It happens. We are pulled in many different directions, in order to do many different tasks throughout the day. Especially, this past year, in the midst of a pandemic, with everyone stuck inside most of the time, it can get intense. Some days, I feel suffocated.
If you follow, Life With Faith, you know, my daughter has Down syndrome and is nonverbal. Although she’s 14 now, and very smart, she still wants and needs me, very often throughout the day. When it’s a long stretch of time, 24/7 for a full week, I often feel frustrated that I can’t accomplish all the things I set out to do, for myself. She wants my attention. She wants to play games, go places, take a walk, do puzzles, and practice her reading. Of course, I want to have that quality time with her. So, I do what most moms do. I put my to-do list to the side, to play with my girl!
The emails wait. That book I’ve been waiting to read get’s put back on the shelf. That long, power walk, in solitude, out in the fresh air, gets put on hold. However, after several days in a row of going non-stop, I long for “Me Time”. Time, just for me, to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it.
And yet, when those rare days occur, as soon as she’s not here… I miss her.
What I’ve Learned
I’ve learned that I need to make the best it. I need to make the most of the time I do get. When she is needy and wants my attention, we do the things she likes to do. We dance, play at the lake, work on puzzles, just to name a few. I’ve realized, too, that I am blessed that Faith actually loves doing household chores! What teenager do you know doesn’t complain about doing chores? Better yet, she actually enjoys helping. I’m not sure if it makes her feel grown up or if she is trying to be like Mommy. Maybe a little of both. Whatever the case may be, I’ll take it. It actually enables me to get some of my to-do list items done, while I’m spending time with her. I can accomplish both. Mom-Win!
Then, the times that she is busy on her own, I can steal away a few moments to do what I like. Even if it’s in those sporadic, stolen moments throughout the day. Learn to roll with the punches and take what you can get. Every little bit of “Me-Time” helps. As I sit here writing, Faith is, independently, practicing her spelling words. So while she is occupied and happy, I have about 15-30 minutes to do something I love to do… like write. I am grateful for the much needed, “Me Time”.
Even if it’s in those sporadic, stolen moments throughout the day. Learn to roll with the punches and take what you can get. Every little bit of “Me-Time” helps. Gina Panzino Lyman
It is rare to have a whole day to myself. A day to take that long walk. A day to have the freedom to read the new book that’s been patiently waiting on the shelf. A day to have the opportunity to go for a long drive, with my husband, just the two of us. A day to have the chance to write. So until that day arrives, I will enjoy every moment with my daughter and be thankful for the stolen moments, in between.
Keep in Touch
Have you learned your own ways of finding time for yourself? What stands in your way? Drop your comments below. I’d love to hear what you have tried and what works for you and your child. I share my thoughts and feelings with you, so that you may find comfort in knowing that life is hectic. Me-Time is necessary. And you are not alone. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take care of you, too. Stay well!